


Control

by thaniveeverbean



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 18:16:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7325461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thaniveeverbean/pseuds/thaniveeverbean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elliot just wants - No - Needs control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Control

**Author's Note:**

> Not my usual fandom but i wanted to read some sad angsty mr.robot fics that had no relationships in them and found like none. so i wrote one.

Elliot sits, pressed tight against his dresser. His mattress underneath him is firm. Too firm. Uncomfortable. 

His right hand slides up and down, up and down, up and down the length of his left forearm. 1-2-3 3-2-1 1-2-3.

Loud/Loud/LOUD. Everything is too fucking loud hecantbreathe. Hands over his ears he begs the voices to stop stop stop. stop STOP STOP. STOPSTOPSTOP. He rocks back and forth back and forth back and forth. 1-2-3 3-2-1 1-2-3. 

Control. Today he talked to his therapist about control. He swears he has it,swears he has it, SWEARSHEHASIT. 

He doesnt. He needs nEEDSNEEDS it. Control. 

He presses his back straight against the cold wall. They won't shut up. He stands delicately. Hands still over his ears. It doesn't help. It never does. The voices will always be just as loud. He sits on his couch. 

He eyes his mirror. He squints at his set up. Sees the razor. He pops up off the couch, paces,paces,paces. 

Control. 

He can control this. 

He is in the bathroom. on the toilet seat. 

Careful. Meticulous. 1-2-3 3-2-1 1-2-3. then another 1-2-3 3-2-1 1-2-3. Its quiet. 

1-2-3 3-2-11-2-3 

1-2-3 3-2-11-2-3 

too many he loses track. 

1-2-3

3-2-1

1-2-3

He smiles.

Its quiet.

His arm is numb. 

Too much red. pools of it. 

He feels faint.

He smiles. 

Its quiet.


End file.
